Poppy

     I have this dog.  She's dysfunctional.  I look at her tonight and ask "and why are you here?"

     How is it I always attract the "dysfunctional"?  Is it because I am good at it, facilitating it, looking past it and at the good?  The wise?  The kind?! I look at my dog and see that again we have the dysfunctional!!!  Why do I always have to do that, my road leads down the many paths and winding roads to who is more weird so Renee can take care of them.  She knows how, God made her OVER COMPASSIONATE, and she gets to find the balance.  WTF I say, why TF!  Ugh...
     For the benefit of some people I know and to my dismay at other times...
     My first memory of befriending the outcast was in elementary school.  There was a girl that got picked on named Roberta.  Who would ever name there child Roberta?  To my memory there wasn't anything different about her than anyone else I was in school with but she became a target of ridicule.  My instinct was to become her friend, her compadre, in an effort to make her life more normal, in an effort to be the one that reflected back that she was normal.  In essence to say Love yourself, you are fine and you are more than they make you out to be.  I thought my classmates to be very mean and created this friendship on her behalf, not because I ever really was drawn to her as a like minded person but in an effort to shield her pain with a reflection of hope.   
     Then ther was this guy who would come in for coffee every morning at "Cafe Pateen"* and he was  so angry every time he came in that I made it my goal to be kind to him every time he came in no matter what he said or how he looked at me and become his comapadre.  He eventually softened to me and came to be quite kind to me... My efforts had worked.... What posessed me to do that I am not sure.  There was no premeditated outcome to it in the end.  He wasn't even remotely close to someone I would choose to become friends with on an ordinary day. 
     My intense desire to make people feel good, feel good about themselves and feel accepted, and why?  I don't know.  I have always thought if I were in a theatre I would be the person running around in the dark backing things up, making scene changes in the dark to make others look better.  MMMmmm... thinking pooh is thinking about this one. 
     Then when I was working at the MIA I met this guy who my manager at the time could not even deal with.  He was Chinese and couldn't understand how to run the cash reginster, etc, etc, in this proto type snack shop they were try ing out, so she told me to please train him.  This is where we start..."Chan".  I just remember thinking this is the skinniest guy I have ever met in my life.

Dharma

"Path of Awakening" and thus conforms to a universal understanding of dharma. The teachings are means of getting the hearer to question their own cherished beliefs and view of life; when through investigation and insight is opened the door to truth, the teaching can be put aside.

Dorothy

char·ism
noun
Inflected Form(s):
plural cha·ris·ma·ta \kə-ˈriz-mə-tə; ˌker-iz-ˈmä-tə, ˌka-riz-\ or charisms
Etymology:
Greek charisma
Date:
circa 1641
: an extraordinary power (as of healing) given a Christian by the Holy Spirit for the good of the church

My Upcoming Year

William Blake Tarot Ace of Poetry (Inspiration) A six-winged cherub descends to touch the poet's lips as he writes upon a scroll draped over his right leg. A manifestation of spiritual power, the cherub represents the divine inspiration as a sexual metaphor. Blake says: "In Beulah the female lets down her beautiful tabernacle, which the male enters magnificent between her cherubim, and becomes one with her." The tabernacle refers to genitalia, the cherubim to the labia, while Beulah is the realm of creativity and sexuality. This card thus symbolizes the reception of inspiration as spiritual cunnilingus, or communicating with the sacred. Blake's lines in the window declare the universal poet's mission, which is to create Poetry by letting spirit in (inspiration), renouncing the "rags" of rules and rationality, and sacrificing one's ego (self-annihilation). "Faith in the Saviour" means believing in your divine self, in your own imagination as your personal savior.

A Happy Ending

Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte (Un dimanche après-midi à l’Ile de la Grande Jatte), Georges Seurat, 1884-1886.

In my dream I was getting angry with Naomi because she borrowed my car to a friend to run an errand.  We were waiting at their school looking at art projects, displays and such.  Noah was trying to sleep. The school bus came and ran off the road and crashed then the driver got out and tore it up some more.  Finally Naomi,s friend brought her car back and when I tried to introduce myself and shake hands she wouldn't, she just said, "I don't do that".  She was physically worn for a teen.  So finally we left.  I took a turn down a road that went off road.  We were trying to decide if we should follow that road going through a lot of personal and public property  along the edge of a lake or go back to the main road I was bored of taking.  I could see some landmarks in the distance so I knew we would get to were we wanted but the question was whether or not it was OK to go through other peoples personal and public domains to get to our destination.  They were all out in there yards, juggling and having lots of different kinds of fun.

I am trying to see if I can get somewhere off of the main drag.  I am not sure if it is OK for me to walk through someone else's yard.  The journey looks so much more lively and adventurous that way, even if we get wet or dirty.

A Visit From My Warrior Archtype

 

Warrior

She told my I was cunning, decisive, a wanderer.  She told me her name was Jennifer Alan(Alaine).  I noticed I was being very sarcastic in the beginning of the dialogue and asked why?  Because of being afraid.  Afraid of breaking rules.  She said I was like a rock, but their was something very unusual in side of me.  I saw the large black rock and the diamond buried in the middle.  She said I was coming into fruition.  I need to keep talking with you.  I made the Connection that we both had to first names tying me closer at some level, wondering if perhaps it may have been me somewhere else.  

Wanderer

Adam Vincent

                                                       http://www.elfwood.com/~bailequaile

Artist/Self

Yesterday I was sitting in this lovely organic cafe in Minneapolis, listening to old time music, eating an egg sandwich when I realized how good it all made me feel.  I reflected for a minute and realized how much worry and anxiety and guilt I continuously entertain in my puny mind and decided it would behoove me to create a better way of thinking in terms of my life.  Get over the past, don't worry so much about the future and enjoy this present love.