Good Grief

"Any feeling of bleakness gives you the chance to look (even if starkly) at what is real in our lives. What do you value? What do you hold dear? Are your actions reflecting those values? And what can you do to make it so?"


What do I value and how are my actions reflecting those values? I am not sure really...


I find myself in this place of grief attached to the life I had. One that was the only one I planned for, all of my values were centered around this commitment, my belief, values, identity, reality and daily tasks. I grieve for the relationship that was less than I needed intimately but satisfying in the most complete way. As I try to seperate I find there is a duality with me. The one with my former life and the one I am living. A new one being born on the inside of me while the old one carries on all around me. This sounds like a painting.


"Look for the openings, the cracks, that will lead you to a new and even more fantastic way of being, because that is what this change is really all about. Life is intended to bring and show you joy."





confirmEtymology:
Middle English, from Anglo-French cunfermer, from Latin confirmare, from com- + firmare to make firm, from firmus firm.
Date: 13th century
1 : to give approval to : ratify 2 : to make firm or firmer : strengthen 3 : to administer the rite of confirmation to 4 : to give new assurance of the validity of : remove doubt about by authoritative act or indisputable fact synonyms confirm , corroborate , substantiate , verify , authenticate , validate mean to attest to the truth or validity of something. confirm implies the removing of doubts by an authoritative statement or indisputable fact.

Ruminating

I walk astride a path of choice
while trying not
to step
in quicksand or into the light.
And blythely straddle across
the casm of pain
squeeze past loss
stepping over hope
in between hate
desparation
conviction
love
and abject derision.
I choose not to decide.